My Lord, my God, my King, I humbly prostrate before Your feet. I ponder on Your infinite love, wishing I could understand it. What is Divine love, that it can reach down from Heaven to an unimportant creature such as myself? What is Divine love that it can call someone like myself to serve as a Priest? I feel so unworthy of such a call. I am sure that there are many others who You could have chosen in my place my Lord, some who surely would have served You much better than myself. Yet, I know it is me who You have chosen. Why Lord, why me? What is so special about me that You would reach out to me? Why not my brothers, my cousins, my neighbours or my friends. Surely, with all Your almighty grace and power, you could have called them. But no, You called me!
What can I say my Lord? By Your loving grace, my spirit is drawn towards you with an uplifting burning desire to serve You. Wherever I go, whatever I do, my mind cannot escape the persistent thoughts of becoming one of Your priests. My body is willing and prepared to go wherever You send me to do Your work. Day and night, I feel Your calling in every part of my whole being. I cannot escape the inner spiritual voice that says over and over: "Come to Me!" While my intellect may say with shame: "No way, not me!", my spirit is drawn towards Your presence. I can no longer resist it! I want to serve You so much, but I feel so unworthy! What makes me any better than my neighbour? What assurance have I got that I can serve You with the Divine honours that You truly deserve my Lord? My assurance has to be Your Word, Your calling, the calm voice in my heart that will not give me peace until I serve You oh Lord!
Therefore, here I am Lord! By the grace of the Heavenly Father and the power of Your Spirit, I have been led to Your feet. What now? What must I do? Where do I start? There is so much to do! How can I do it all and do it right? I am only human! Forgive me Lord! How weak I am! Why do I always rely on myself, letting my human reasoning take over? Why do I fail to trust in You to do Your spiritual work? It is not me doing Your work, but You Who is moving through me. When will I ever learn this? Lord, please strengthen and uplift my spirit. Direct every thoughts of my soul towards You so I may serve You in full submission, fulfilling the work of the Heavenly Father by the power of Your Holy Spirit.
Now committed to serving You my Lord, I know deep inside what You desire from me. Through Your grace and mercy, You want to admit me into Your priestly presence in purity of heart.
You want to allow Your living water to flow through me as a fountain of salvation so I may become worthy to sit at Your table in the Heavenly Kingdom. What greatness such a Divine desire holds! Only Your Sacred Heart through the power of Your most Holy Name can achieve such a goal! Your calling my Lord is an extraordinary blessing, a passion to become one in full communion with You. It is a calling to love You physically, spiritually and Divinely, to be in perfect harmony with the Trinity of God. How can I possibly achieve this goal? It is through understanding the mystery of Your love!
My first impulse is to acknowledge my failures. It is to ask for Your pardon and strength with a sincerity of soul, heart, mind, spirit and body. It is to confess to You my Lord that I have sinned against You. It is to confess to my brothers and sisters that I have sinned against them. How desolate I am, having done so through my own fault, in my thoughts, my words, what I have done and what I have failed to do. Oh, how weak I am! Surely, I am in need of Your prayers my Lord, those of the Blessed Virgin Mary, all the angels and saints and the faithful. Have mercy on me my Lord! Forgive my sins and draw me towards Your promised eternal life!
Knowing I have been forgiven, my soul magnifies You my Lord! My spirit rejoices in You my Saviour. I worship You, give You thanks and praise You for Your glory, You Who take away the sin of the world. Truly, You are the Holy One, the Lord, the One and only Most High, Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit, in the glory of the Father.
Having called on Your Holy Name and having been cleansed, body, spirit and soul by Your endless flowing fountain of love, I am now prepared to make Your deeds known among the people. Together, we will sing praises to You, tell of all Your wonderful works! Glory be Your Holy Name! Let the hearts seek Your strength and presence continually! Let them rejoice! Let them remember the works that You have done and Your miracles!
Continually called to a life of living prayer, my spirit is drawn towards You my God. How often I find myself before Your presence in the Most Holy Tabernacle but I cannot find the words to speak. Left speechless, I sense the uplifting of my spirit, realizing that it is my spirit that is adoring You in silence, blanking my mind during these holy moments. I perceive that the drawing and impelling force within me is the power of Your Holy Spirit Who is bringing me in communion with You as one. What glorious moments! At times, I just want to remain there with You.
Other times, my body becomes restless after a lengthy period of time. I want to leave but my spirit holds me before you. My soul tells me that you want me to stay, just a little longer, to remain in Your dear presence so You may continue to engulf me with Your love and grace. Should I decide to leave, what guilt befalls me afterwards for having failed to listen to my heart! While I enjoyed your dearest Divine presence, I let it go. This is when I realize the ongoing battle that goes on within me, between the spiritual and the worldly. I know that if it was left to me, most likely, I would rarely come to You. But because of Your showers of grace which are continually blessed upon me, I keep coming back.
Forgive me Lord for my insolence! At times, I just feel like hiding from You in shame. I am so unworthy of Your grace. You give me so much, asking so little in return. Look I repay You for having showered Your grace upon me? Day and night, I cry out to You in Heaven for Your presence and when You grant it to me, my mind seeks the worldly. Indeed, I am a wretch. How can I call myself a priest? Forgive me Lord, forgive me! Look not at my insolence but at the most deepest desires of my spirit to truly be with You. I am indeed powerless, in need of Your strength for my spirit to overcome my weak nature so I will always adore You as You deserve to be adored. Forgive me Lord!
I try so hard to walk in faith, knowing that because I have called on Your Holy Name, I will be saved. Blessed be Your Holy Name forever!
Lord, I live for the moments when the mystery of the water and wine, Your Body and Blood that brings eternal life, allows me to share in Your Divinity, reminding me of how You humbled Yourself to share in our humanity. In memory of your Last Supper, this celebration of thanksgiving brings me into Your Divine presence.
In my heart, prior to consecration, I ask you to bless and approve the offering of the bread and wine, work of human hands which will become the bread of life and the fruit of the earth which will become my spiritual drink. I ask you to make this sacrifice acceptable to You, an offering in spirit and in truth, that it may become Your Body and Blood.
When the moment approaches, I hold the bread in my hands with great reverence, knowing in faith that a great mystery is about to take place. I look up to Heaven to You Almighty Father and give You thanks and praise for that precious moment.
At the precise moment that I give You 'thanks and praise', I know that I have brought great delight to Your Divinity. My entire person senses Your descending within my body, engulfing my whole being with joy and peace. It is no longer I Who will consecrate the bread and wine but You my Lord, through Your indwelling. My spirit senses Your Holy Spirit, He Who raises the burning spark within me into a flame. In Your presence I humble myself. Overwhelmed with delight, my whole being feels lifted as ascending feathers. What awesomeness! It is as a state of ecstasy, this being the moment I awaited with all my heart.
Looking up to Heaven to You Almighty Father, I raise the bread and say the Words of Jesus: "Take this, all of you, and eat it: this is My body which will be given up for you." At that moment, I come in perfect communion with Your Divinity, I being brought into Your Oneness.
Frozen in time, my heart reaches out to You my Lord, saying: "My Lord, My God!" I just want to keep You elevated there so I can continue to speak to you from my heart. Sometimes, I am left speechless, my physical mind wondering why I am not taking this opportunity to pour my heart out to you. In silence, I know that my soul and spirit are in perfect communion with You in adoration. How I long for these moments my Lord.
Then suddenly, my reasoning tells me that it is enough - the faithful are waiting. Called to respond to some of the faithful who fail to perceive the mystery that is taking place, sadly, I gently lower Your Divine Body and kneel to worship You, my King of kings.
Being overcomed by Your indwelling with my spirit, my whole body feels weakened. I sense the warmth of Your Divine presence. I perceive every move that I make and every word that I say. Continuing with the consecration of the Holy Eucharist, I take the cup, give you thanks and praise once more and say the Words of Jesus: "Take this, all of you, and drink it: this is the cup of My Blood, the Blood of the new and everlasting covenant. It will be shed for you and for all so that sins may be forgiven. Do this in memory of Me."
I then raise the cup that hold Your Precious Blood, taking every care not to spill one drop in my weakened state. With watery eyes, I beg You Father to accept the Holy Blood of Your Divine Son for the salvation of mankind. May not one soul be lost! I not only ask for their eternal needs but also for their present worldly daily needs. I thank you Father for having called me to serve You, blessing me with the opportunity to share Your presence.
During this special moment, all doubts of having been called disappear. I now perceive the Divine abounding love of Your Sacred Heart, a call that is made to many. Once more, my reason tells me that the faithful are waiting. I gently lower Your Precious Blood and genuflect before You in adoration.
In my heart, I know that Your Sacred Body and Blood have filled me with every grace and blessing, strengthening me until the next Consecration. Can my whole being wait until that next moment? I continue with the celebration of the Holy Mass, my person having been transformed. Having received Your Holy Spirit, I am full of grace.
I reflect on some of the moments when I was in perfect communion with You my Lord. How many times during those moments, Your Word of knowledge descended upon me, enlightening me in Your truth. Embracing a spiritual mind, my mind was receptive to Your Divine knowledge, understanding and wisdom. It is no wonder that I was drawn to You! Not only were You my comfort but also my Teacher. You opened my eyes to what was once concealed! Indeed, Your outpouring of graces were endless!
My heart rejoices in You my Lord because I have trusted in Your Holy Name since my youth. By Your Spirit, You have kept me faithful, walking in Your way, the truth and the light. Glory be to Your Holy Name! Let the hearts of those who seek You also rejoice! Let all creation bless Your Holy Name forever.