Q. 1. The Godfather of my son died. I am trying to find a replacement. From what I understand, there can only be a different Godfather at the time of the Sacrament of Confirmation. My son is already confirmed. So that does not apply. Considering the aforementioned, what is available to me so I can get another Godfather involved in the life of my son?

A. 1. Under the teachings of the Catholic Church, there is nothing else available to you. The only opportunity available to replace a Godparent was at the Sacrament of Confirmation, as you indicated.

I do get many inquiries similar to yours, parents seeking to replace a Godparent for one reason or another. Some Godparents have died, some have changed their religion, others have moved away, never showed any interest or do not practice their faith. What do these parents do?

My recommendation is that you appoint a "spiritual mentor." This is not a Church approved term. But it will serve the purpose of what you seek to do, to have an older knowledgeable person who is prepared to give a younger or less experienced person/child the help and advice that is needed over a period of time, especially on the matter of the Catholic faith. This is not a babysitter or a big brother who's purpose is to spend time with a child, do outings, etc... A "spiritual mentor" is solely for the purpose of helping the child on matters of his religion or religious belief, things affecting the human spirit for the purpose of spiritual growth.

The role of the "spiritual mentor" is not to replace the parent(s) in their responsibility to raise the child in the Catholic faith. The role of the "spiritual mentor" is the same as the role of the Godparent, to assist the parent with the upbringing of the child in the Catholic faith.

The "spiritual mentor," in cooperation with the parent(s), can help the child with any of the following:

• Learning about Jesus and the Holy Trinity.
• Memorizing basic prayers, grace before meals, bedtime prayers, etc...
• Learning about the Sacraments,
• Learning about the Sacramentals,
• Learning how to pray the Rosary,
• Learning the Way of the Cross,
• Learning Church doctrines,
• Sharing stories of the Saints,
• Learning the code of conduct in the Church,
• Learning how to make the sign of the Cross,
• Learning about the Mass,
• Learning the Liturgical Seasons,
• Learning about religious vocations,
• Learning how to use the Catechism of the Catholic Church,
• Learning about the Bible,
• Learning about creation,
• Learning about Heaven, Purgatory, Hell, Limbo, and
• Learning about virtues, etc..

The "spiritual mentor" is not a "gift giver." He is not there to buy presents for the child such as a new bicycle, a television for his bedroom, a tablet/computer, etc... These are worldly things and they should not be encouraged.

A responsible "spiritual mentor" will buy and give the godchild spiritual gifts from time to time, preferably no more than twice a year. It must not become a habit whereas the child expects something every time he sees his Godfather.

Spiritual gifts, pre-approved by the parent(s), may include a Catholic Bible (Illustrated Children's Bible for younger children), a book with stories of the Saints, a book on the Holy Mass or the Sacraments, a Scapular, a Miraculous Medal, a Rosary, etc... If the parent(s) is already providing this spiritual material, than the "spiritual mentor" must refrain from buying any. Remember, the role is "to assist," not "to compete" against the parent.